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Lions and Tigers and Bears Bullcrap

I just had clicked “new post,” trying to think of what to write about today when someone behind me mentioned Jurassic Park. Immediately, I’ve decided to tell you about my unrealistic phobias.

Scared

Three things in this world absolutely petrify me, and they are often judged as being slightly ridiculous. Zombies, Sharks… and Dinosaurs. (Which it can be argued a shark IS a dinosaur, but to me they’re both keepers of hell and not to be played with.)

So I had a horrible babysitter growing up. My aunt found it really difficult to discern what might be a good idea of what to let a 7, 8, 9 year old  watch and it started with Zombies. These weren’t the slow, limping zombies from Night of the Living Dead, no. These were like the B-rated, sprinting son’s a bitches that were a little too smart for their own good. So no. I steer clear of the Walking Dead with all my might.

Zombie Gif

Then my mother had a–hey, my kid loves animals, lets have her watch this gruesome movie where dino’s kill and eat a bunch of nosy scientists–idea. That. shizz. messed. me. up. Six years, SIX YEARS I could not sleep in the dark. I was absolutely certain that a raptor was going to make it all the way in-land to Kentucky and use its freaky ability to open doors and eat me. To my credit, I was smart enough to realize that that island was not secured and at the very least, the ones that could fly were very much able to flap on over to the USA.

Raptor Gif

Then lastly, my most realistic fear (sorta): sharks. My aunt also thought it would be okay for me to watch Deep Blue Sea. Never seen it? Its about a group of sharks that are genetically engineered to be incredibly intelligent. At least thats what my little 10-year old brain remembers. Other than that, the only things I recall are these people being trapped in the middle of the ocean with these “things” and this happens:

Shark Gif

So yeah. Some of these are “impossible.” But lets get real, if there is ever going to be a zombie outbreak, Kentucky has a pretty high chance of being where it starts.

Oh I could go one about my fear Chucky, or Scream, or my obsession that someone was going to break into the house and kill me, but I think these three are good enough for today. You’re welcome for the glimpse into my very traumatized youth.

Good night!


Quote of the day:

Fear Quote

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