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Lions and Tigers and Bears Bullcrap

I just had clicked “new post,” trying to think of what to write about today when someone behind me mentioned Jurassic Park. Immediately, I’ve decided to tell you about my unrealistic phobias.

Scared

Three things in this world absolutely petrify me, and they are often judged as being slightly ridiculous. Zombies, Sharks… and Dinosaurs. (Which it can be argued a shark IS a dinosaur, but to me they’re both keepers of hell and not to be played with.)

So I had a horrible babysitter growing up. My aunt found it really difficult to discern what might be a good idea of what to let a 7, 8, 9 year old  watch and it started with Zombies. These weren’t the slow, limping zombies from Night of the Living Dead, no. These were like the B-rated, sprinting son’s a bitches that were a little too smart for their own good. So no. I steer clear of the Walking Dead with all my might.

Zombie Gif

Then my mother had a–hey, my kid loves animals, lets have her watch this gruesome movie where dino’s kill and eat a bunch of nosy scientists–idea. That. shizz. messed. me. up. Six years, SIX YEARS I could not sleep in the dark. I was absolutely certain that a raptor was going to make it all the way in-land to Kentucky and use its freaky ability to open doors and eat me. To my credit, I was smart enough to realize that that island was not secured and at the very least, the ones that could fly were very much able to flap on over to the USA.

Raptor Gif

Then lastly, my most realistic fear (sorta): sharks. My aunt also thought it would be okay for me to watch Deep Blue Sea. Never seen it? Its about a group of sharks that are genetically engineered to be incredibly intelligent. At least thats what my little 10-year old brain remembers. Other than that, the only things I recall are these people being trapped in the middle of the ocean with these “things” and this happens:

Shark Gif

So yeah. Some of these are “impossible.” But lets get real, if there is ever going to be a zombie outbreak, Kentucky has a pretty high chance of being where it starts.

Oh I could go one about my fear Chucky, or Scream, or my obsession that someone was going to break into the house and kill me, but I think these three are good enough for today. You’re welcome for the glimpse into my very traumatized youth.

Good night!


Quote of the day:

Fear Quote

Death to Shaving and Dating

Hades Blow Up

Oooooh-ho-ho-ho, are you guys in for a treat. Not.

First and foremost, can I say I’ve added waging a war on Baby Oil Gel to my bucket list ?

Pinterest LIED to me. That crap about it being good for shaving is bull. Do not buy into it. Yes my legs are the softest they’ve been since pre-puberty but it murdered my razor AND I felt like I’d never been free of the greasy-oily feeling on my hands– and basically entire body. I felt like I was laced in petroleum, and just–NO guys, NO. It was traumatizing and infuriating all in one. (Speaking of shaving legs, check out this blog that will truly explain to you the horrors of lady-shaving in general.)

The exact brand and scent of the culprit that ruined my shower.

The exact brand and scent of the culprit that ruined my shower.

Secondly, dating multiple guys sucks. Its so much easier either being completely single, or dating someone monogamously. When you’re dating one-on-one, hey you don’t like him? Dump him. Get over it. But dating a few guys in non-committed style is like event planning. No one does what they’re supposed to and no ones happy. Right now I’m juggling my Thursday night and weekend, trying to coordinate outfits with dates so they’re not dirty for when I really want to wear it, and trying to figure out when I’m going to do my makeup between work and class and bleck. Just bleck.

Oh and might I mention its these dates as to why I even tried out the baby oil gel shaving method? Its all connected in a spiraling death trap. Dating and shaving = my enemies of the night.

Lilo

(Sorry for my “first world probs” moment, guys.)


Here’s what I know you’ve been waiting for. Daily quotes.

Lonely Quote

I picked this to remind you, and myself, being lonely doesn’t mean being alone. Choose the company you keep wisely, and also know that you are the greatest thing that will ever happen to you and treat yourself accordingly.

Have a wonderful night folks. And don’t buy Johnson products.

Dream Land is a Freaky Place

Oh gosh, guys. I had one of the creepiest slash awesome dreams ever. EVER.

Dog Dreaming

So, not by any means am I a comic book junkie. I know enough to tell who the big superheros are, and even can tell which is DC or Marvel (some of the times). But I had a dream of like a third comic book world. Let’s call it… I don’t know, I’ll think of something later. (Yeah, nothing. If you have a good idea, comment.)

Superman

ANYHOW! I find myself in a dark, old apartment. I’m conscious of the fact it’s my ex’s, though he vacated it long ago. I also know I have a super power that had recently been awakened, though I had no clue what it was or how to use it. (Spoiler: Its pretty bomb)

Firegif

So I had been recruited by the good guys, specifically my version of Super Man, in the fight against the evil guys. (He wasn’t really super man, because he could be injured, but he was crazy hot.) So he comes to check on me that night, because some stuff had been going down under the radar with the war on evil. When he gets there though, I noticed his throat had metal stuck on it. My dream-brain immediately jumps the conclusion that it could be laced with poison to control him. (Which would be horribly bad.)

Superman Gif

SO as I’m removing the metal from his neck, he’s bleeding some from the metal’s sharp edges. Well just so conveniently, a villain comes busting through my door. (she’s newbie like me though, except she actually can use her powers.) Sadly, in like 2.5 seconds she knocks Not-So-Super-Super-Man with her ability to blast energy and breaks his spin. 😦

glee gif

In this crazy adrenaline rush, while she’s killing “my mentor,” I just feel my power rising, my ability preparing to just erupt. Know what my super power was…? Get this. I could “bend” blood!

Carrie gif

How creepy is that? I just throw my hands at her and the bish flys back, dead as a door-nail. In the rush of it all, though, I wake up with a racing heart and deliriously type a note in my phone describing the dream because it was like 6am.

All in all, I avenged my Not-So-Super-Super-Man, and have probably one of the coolest super powers ever. (Unique to say the least.) I’m assuming we won the good fight with my amazing power, and we made the world a better place.

Bring it on


And because I’d like to make it a thing, here is a cool quote. 🙂 (Obviously unless I just, like, get insanely lucky I’m never going to get a superpower… but still.) Have a good night guys! Follow me and I’ll post an update tomorrow!

Dream Img

Grade A College Girl

Blogging.  Oh gosh, here we go.

Exasperated emma

I’ll figure out how to put gifs in this thing later… Got it!

Before I’d read any further, if I were you, I’d definitely want to know who the heck I am. Olive Garden addict. Resting-bitch-face wielder. How I Met Your Mother griever.  Book worm wannabe. So many things encompass Katie but first and foremost that apply to you is I am a college student blogging my life, thoughts, feelings, all for the next three weeks for your pleasant viewing.

HP Party

Now this is the person typing at you right now. Good ole’ Kentuckian Southern Belle. (sorta)

Blog Pic

 The things I love in life are pretty typical. (Sleep, Food, Game of Thrones, etc.) My issues are extensive. (Namely ex-boyfriends and an above average dysfunctional family.) My GPA is nursing battle wounds and for the life of me, my curls will not refrain from intense frizziness on a daily basis.

Shockingly I have very few friends.  (Buzzfeed often associates me with Mindy Kaling.)

Mindy Role Model

Now…  I wrote a list of like twenty something things to blog about in class today:

Being a college student, being a first generation college student, pinterest, how dating sucks and you should never ever start doing it, weekly quotes/foods/youtube videos. It has all been done before… but has it really been done by a brash college-aged female, gallivanting through the internet?

Yeah, probably.  But I’m your college-aged female gallivanting through the internet.

Before I leave you tonight, and because I’m a Word-Whore, I’ll leave you with these wise words of wisdom (and also, so these will see the light of day outside of my pinterest board):

Yep I like This One

That turned out to be less wisdom than I was expecting. (I was digging around in that bored for like a whole five minutes) So if you think you might pick me,  come see me tomorrow for more on “Katie’s Mind”.


Ryan