Screw Heartache

Today’s blog is mainly for those trying to deal with matters of the heart.

( Fast Update: Ex-BF left for his job that moved him last minute across country, meaning our plans to try and re-build are shot. That’d be understandable, except his opinion is to grow apart permanently. His chosen method of doing that? Not speaking to me at all. Cool. )

The heart is such a petty, fickle, stupid thing. I’d be better off being a-sexual, and adopting cute, chunky little babies on my own.

Laughing baby

Do you ever feel like your family has undermined you? I kind of blame them for my lack of ability not give a flying flip about a man. Of course, being raised in a matriarchal-facade where the women “run the show,” except can’t stand on their own two feet with out being supported by a man kind of does that to you. They fall to pieces when they find themselves in an unhealthy relationship, and when it goes sour, rarely stay single for more than a week at a time. Find love, run them off, and the cycle repeats. They are incapable of a health single-hood.

And of course media doesn’t help in the slightest. Books, movies, even songs are completely warped in the idea of “you can’t live with out them” bull. Its pretty much horse shit. (sorry Merkel) I read all sorts of fairy-tale centered love stories, and listened to the country music, and watched the romantic comedies and I’m pissed about it.

BUCK UP, LADIES! Everyone, for that matter. You’re only as happy as you allow yourself to be and while people enter and leave your lives every day: Pick those who will pull you higher, and those that drag you down: cut off.

I’ve started moving on from this guy a few times over, and keep handing out another chance. He has until the weekend… and if he still has chosen to find my friendship, my involvement in his life to be of such a lesser need than everything else, well… Its going to be a complete transition. Facebook? Blocked. iPhone? Blocked. All contact is going to be removed. Because its time I moved the heck on if this is the chosen path.

Love yourself first, and foremost. It’ll get lonely, and you’ll feel hopeless. Allow yourself one good, hard cry and then demand of yourself not to shed another tear. When it gets hard, remember it wont last forever and it sure the hell wont matter in the years to come.

Quote of the Day:

Don't Chase


Ick. Just…ick.

Dating is overrated, guys.


So I had a lot plans last night. I was going to get off work (an hour early) to get ready for a date. Then after that date, I had an ex boyfriend that I agreed could spend a few days at my apartment seeing as his flight leaves out of here on Sunday for his first big boy job.

Well my intentions were to have a blast on my date, then come back and probably fight with my ex. (He and I don’t see eye to eye on much.) Neither of that happened, though, surprisingly. Instead I was effectively “stood up” by my date.

Frown gif

He claims his phone wasn’t working and that he was outside my apartment’s building for an hour waiting on me. While that is possible, there were many other smart options than just sitting around thinking I’d wander out. (Go find internet and facebook message me, for one. Its really not that difficult to find internet near a college campus.) Note that we hadn’t spoken at all that day, instead discussing the time and place the night before. To his credit–we’ve been out a couple times. If you stand a girl up, I’d think you’d do it the first time. Not the third.

shaking head gif

Feeling pretty dejected, but still looking smoking hot for a date, I decide to get lo mein for one and wait until my ex showed up. There soon after he arrives, and while awkward at first, becomes normal and comfortable. I was surprised. We spend a couple hours just talking, end up watching something on hulu, sharing my, by then cold, lo mein. He still slept on the couch. But still, no fights as of yet. (I’m not ruling out tonight though.)

neighbors 2

We have plans, after I get off work, to go get Wick’s pizza and check out the new movie the Neighbors. I have to say I’m really excited for it… Crossing my fingers it doesn’t turn sour. Wish me luck, guys! And have a great evening yourselves!

Quote of the day:

bad decisions

*Probably appropriate for today’s blog.