Bad pun. Terribly sorry.
This message is brought to you by Katie: sad, heartbroken intern that has everything in the world going for her and she can’t stand it.
I feel like the lowest of the low. Have you ever felt bad for feeling bad? Seriously. New car. New home. New job. And I’m crying on a stupid airplane because I let another person contort my emotions to the point of tears. How stupid can a girl get?
“Well whatever” says the ex that is going to be in Louisville, KY and didn’t bother to tell me. To boot he’s not the least bit perturbed that that day he’s back happens to be the day I’m in Charlotte, North Carolina. I think that sends a pretty clear message, don’t you?
So why am I still clinging to the hope it can work out? Why haven’t I broken those connections? Its because I’m not winning. Let me tell you, I’ve started moving on from this guy many times over. I go back because I accept the apology, not because I have to. But this mother-heffer is the one that effectively dumped me, so what does my heart tell me? Sob. Cry. Feel broken. Because you’re the loser. How messed up is that?
The psychology behind these emotions sickens me, because I’ve been fine before, when we’ve fallen out. But being blindsided, and being left behind has uprooted my senses and has caught me so off guard I’m not able to right myself. Tonight should be one of the most memorable nights for me, and I’m held down by a leaden chest.
So what can I do? I can keep telling myself things, repeating it over and over, logistically. But there’s that nagging, stupid, ugly voice that keeps whispering that it could get better with him. But I’m alone, and crazy, and really want to adopt a cat.
I guess its time for a rebound… everyone have a great night while I lay in bed on tender, searching my soul for dignity once more.
For your further amusement: 15 Gifs to help get through a break up.
Quote of the Day: